I decided that I will write again. And if I keep writing, I will share the link and maybe someone will read it.
Update from a year and a half ago: I graduated, got a job in a daycare, my husband joined the police force, I had two more miscarriages (in the midst of all that), and now I am pregnant again. But this time it’s different. It did not end after one month with a shattered heart. I am closing in on meeting my daughter. I’m going to meet her! She’s due in mid-November and I cannot wait. I absolutely.cannot.wait.to.meet.her.
The Officer (hubby) and I are planning a home birth for our little Squishy. And we are slowly getting ready. Even now, as I feel her move and squirm and kick around, playing with my organs, I get excited. And incredibly scared. I’m scared about childbirth. I’m scared about having a newborn. I’m scared about being a mother. It’s the only thing I’ve wanted to do since I was a child and the very thing on my heart for the last two years. And so this is it.
This is it. She’s coming.
Dear God, help me.