Newborn. New.Born. [coming to terms with all the new]

9 December 2011 at 6:59 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

I love to kiss her cheeks. And her fingers. And her toes. Oh the toes!

(Why don’t those words written down convey the love I have for my Squishy?)

None of us sleep for more than 2.5 or 3 hours at a time. Sometimes I have no idea why she’s crying. She poops. Everywhere. All over me sometimes. I usually smell like spit-up. I yell at my husband and we fight about things that don’t make sense – 3AM is a confusing time of day. And my body is still feeling the effects of bringing her into this world. Life with a newborn is not easy, anyone will tell you that. But I just look at her and know that – somehow – it’s all worth it. (Even though none of life makes any sense anymore. When they say that having a child changes everything – it’s not just everything on the outside and how life looks and works – it changes everything to the deepest parts of who you are and what you know and why anything makes sense or matters or doesn’t matter).

Confession: It took a while for all of this to feel worth it. And I think I still have a ways to go. (Childbirth REALLY hurts). But I’m getting there. The tiny smiles and her dark blue eyes are inching me closer every day.

And you know what? I’ve never been so satisfied with 3 straight hours of sleep. It’s the little things.

(P.S. This is the first time I’ve told anyone that I even have blog – I’ve had it for a couple months – feel free to scroll down and read some past posts. This is not really intended to entertain the masses or inform anyone about anything in particular, it is just a place where I can organize and write down my thoughts. If you find it interesting to read, then enjoy! If not, it doesn’t matter much to me if you don’t read it.)

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2 Comments

  1. Lauren Allen said,

    Aw, that early recovery time is such a bitch. So sorry, hon. It does get better – I didn’t quite believe it at that point, so it’s okay if you don’t, but it will. ❤

  2. Bob said,

    What a blessed experience of God’s love that you are currently receiving! You have beautifully and thoughtfully described parts of it in this blog, but I’m sure that it is deeper and richer than any words can express. You are no longer the bright young girl whose birthdays I sometimes celebrated or the beautiful young woman whose wedding I witnessed. But you are now the mother of a child of God, Kaelyn, your daughter whom God has entrusted into your life and home. The lessons of God’s love that you learned from your great parents will take on new meanings and significance as you continue to experience them again and again, and new ones be added to them as Kaelyn teaches you what it means to really care for someone else. Mary learned these lessons as she was changed from the wife of Joseph to the mother of Jesus. And you are now beginning to experience the blessing of God’s love in both of these roles for young women like you, but there is something really special about being a mother to a “gift” from God. May God really lead you and continue to bless you through this season of his incarnation in the birth of Jesus, and may his special joy and peace fill your heart with his glorious love. Merry Christmas with love,
    Grandpa, Bob

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