Called to Fearlessness

25 April 2012 at 9:21 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

I was reading 1 Peter this morning while I was holding my teething babygirl during her nap – hoping to help her sleep longer. In chapter three, Peter begins talking about wives and husbands. It’s wonderful to read, to be reminded of the woman I am called to be. And then I read the following, “And you are [Sarah’s] children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”

Shut. the. front. door.

Do not fear anything that is frightening? But God! It’s frightening! You want me to not be afraid of anything that is frightening? It doesn’t make any sense! Not to me, anyway. But that is what I am called to. I am called to peace, to trust, to faith. Even when it doesn’t make sense. None of these can co-exist with fear. My Good God is Sovereign. Do I really believe that? I do, but if I really do, why don’t I act like it? If I really believe that God is all Sovereign, all powerful, all wise, and all good, then truly, truly I have nothing to fear. Nothing. Not even if it is frightening.

Here are something things that I consider frightening: being away from my best friend and husband for a long time, being a single parent, a single parent to this high-needs child, sleepless nights with no backup, what if she gets really sick?, my husband being at war, what he will see, what he will do, what might happen to him, what if he doesn’t come home?,  and then what about when he does?,  what if he doesn’t come home whole?, him coming home not being the same man, our marriage falling apart, somehow going back to having him home when he’d been gone so long, the changes that I will face in myself, the changes in him, his scars, how his scars might hurt him, or me, or our daughter. How will anything ever be normal again?

This is the short list. And it will consume me if I let it. It will cripple and destroy me if I fear what is frightening.

I am called to not fear anything that is frightening.

Lord, help me. I choose you. I choose peace.

3 Comments

  1. corazondefuegoblanco said,

    Renee,

    There are things to be worried about/scared of, but fear doesn’t have to be the automatic response to such things –and you seem to have already figured this out. 🙂

    You are going through a lot. Things are definitely challenging for you–I want to affirm the fact that you are truly handling difficult things in the best way possible. You are involving/relying on God in every aspect of your life. So know that you are honoring Him even if you feel anxious/unsure. He is pleased with you because you are seeking after Him and desire to honor Him as a wife and as a mother. God will be faithful to those who are faithful to Him.

    You are stronger than you think, because you have the power of God within you.

    I love you. I will be praying for you now that I know how to pray. The gates of Hell cannot prevail against our God or against what He intends to bless you and your family with. 🙂

    –Megan Davis

  2. corazondefuegoblanco said,

    So, I typed you a long comment and lost it. 😦

    I think, Renee, that you are doing an excellent job, both as a wife and as a mother. You have some tough stuff to handle, stuff that not everyone experiences, and it takes a lot of strength to be a military wife, and even more so to be a single parent (it may be beneficial to contact Mallory Thompson since she has a husband in the service as well).

    I just want to affirm that you are doing the right thing–you are seeking God’s heart for your family and you are giving Him your worries and fears. God will be faithful to those who are faithful to Him. The Gates of Hell cannot prevail against Him, and consequently Hell cannot stop God’s plans to encourage, provide for, and bless your family.

    You have a beautiful spirit. You are stronger than you think–the power of God is within you. 🙂

    I love you and will pray for you.

    -Megan Davis

    P.S. I saw an old achive facebook event for “Renee Day” from back in our freshman year of college. You are so loved–both during and post-covenant. We are all cheering you on Renee! You are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses.

  3. Sarah R. said,

    good reminder. i have never noticed that verse before. i was up late last night indulging in some fear and needed to hear this. prayers for you!

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